Just Relax

I know I've alluded to the fact that I have a hard time relaxing.  The more I think about it, I realize it actually is a pretty dominant theme in my personality... though I may say otherwise, I'm really not that easy-going.  I have a routine and I like to stick to it.  I have certain classes at the gym I like to take every week, I eat the same two things for breakfast every weekday, I walk to work so that I know exactly how long it will take me, when cooking, I want things chopped a certain way, I like ordering sushi from only one place...  It's not so much that I won't change.  I just prefer not to.  And now I sound crazy.

A few months ago, I purchased a massage/fitness class package at Exhale Spa through Urban Daddy.  The deal was a 60-minute massage and 3 of their Core Fusion classes for $130-- considering that a massage alone is that much, it was an offer too good to pass up. 

When booking, the first question they asked was "male or female"?  Umm..male!  Not that I'm sexist...I'm sure that a female would be great.  I just.. have a lot of tension in my back and needed someone huge to get out the knots.  I went to the Exhale Spa on Madison Avenue.  It was really nice, but not as big, spacious, or serene as I expected.  I was left waiting in the "zen room" for about 10 minutes and I started to worry my massage would now be only 50 minutes.. thankfully my masseuse, Justin, still took me for the full hour.  We were just beginning and he asked when my last massage was-- I instantly said "ohh, about a year ago".  Which is a total lie.  It just came out.  I've had one massage before in my life, when I was in high school.  And I think he knew it was a total lie after about 7 minutes. "Breathe...Lisa, you need to breathe...relax.  You're pushing back against me.  Breathe in through your nose.  It's ok to make noise".  And I'm sweating.  And there are waves crashing.  And in my head I'm thinking: "Ok.  Yoga breathing.  In. Out.  Relax.  Stop holding your arms up.  Wait a minute...am I seriously BAD at getting a massage??"

It took me a good 40 or so minutes to actually get the hang of it, which on one hand I could think of as kind of a waste... but instead I'm looking at it as something I just need to practice.  I need to learn that although life, work, and the city can become stressful and all-consuming, it's so important to take some time to completely focus on yourself.  A massage is not something we normally think of buying for ourselves, but I want to start budgeting it in to treat myself every couple of months.  I think it's something I can get used to...

photo courtesy of Exhale Spa

I Love New York

I've been feeling a bit restless lately.  I talked about it in my previous post-- the post college "itch" (I hate that word and will think of a new term... you're welcome)-- and I've started to think that now might be a great time for a change.  I'm not married, I don't have a house, or a mortgage, or a serious boyfriend, or a dog, or really anything that would require me to stay in New York.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE New York.  I feel so lucky to live in such a wonderful city that is so full of excitement, friends, activity, and amazing food.  I really never even considered living anywhere else.

But New York can be hard on you at times.  It's easy to feel  lonely, even though you're surrounded by people.  Sometimes there actually are too many choices-- What's the best new restaurant?  Hottest wine bar?  Best park?  Greatest neighborbood?  Cheapest rent?  I've been having a seemingly inescapable feeling that I am running around and around on a hamster wheel and I am not sure what for.  Work-stress-anxiety-phones ringing-crowded streets-subway-gym-treadmill-spinning-make money-go out-spend money-buy-return...and start again.   I ran out of work last night to go to a yoga class (sprinted and got there late, of course), so it took me a good 15 sun saltuations to get my zen on.  Hour class, we say our Namaste, I roll up my mat, feeling good... and have to wait on a freaking LINE to put my blanket away.  I huffed, and I puffed, and I cut the line and threw mine on top of the pile, completely disregarding whatever folding rule everyone else was following.

Seriously?  In a yoga class?   Chicago is starting to look pretty good.  Or Portland.  Denver!  Everyone is so happy out there!

So I left, only slightly less stressed than when I started...but them something amazing happened.  That nagging feeling melted away and it turned into one of those perfect New York nights.  I met a dear friend for amazing cocktails in the East Village, had an absolutely delicious dinner, and went to the coolest, most secluded speakeasy I've ever been to.  We sat in the corner of this bar with wonderful drinks, having a great time, and some guy came over completely out of nowhere and said "you are beautiful".  To my friend, of course.  And then he actually ran away.  But in my Campari-induced fog, I couldn't stop smiling.  (ok, that was probably the drinks).  Even still, isn't that the nicest thing??  For a complete stranger to so genuinely and honestly say that someone is beautiful?  And then run away so you aren't stuck talking to them after?  Doesn't get any better than that.

Nights like that make it so hard for me to seriously consider ever leaving New York.  As long as there is a grungy back alley in alphabet city serving custom-made drinks, I'll be here too.